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Georgina Zinno

In Search Of My True Self

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Freedom is a state of mind

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My heart has been pounding from one state of mind to another. Wondering along the way which state was better to hold on, I grabbed my own self many times wishing there was only one way to fulfil my hungry heart.
It seems to me that this wondering attracts also lots of instability, doubt and feelings such as failure, disappointment and yes, sadness. Why? Because that’s what happens when you do your best not to feel, when you shut yourself up to the old and decide that all pain you’ve been going through it’s enough. Finito.

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A new hope

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So, of course the title of this post is the name of the first, and later fourth, George Lucas’ film Star Wars. It’s not such a random title. It says a lot about struggle and how in times when everything seems difficult, there’s still hope.

And that’s how I feel today. The challenge has came to an end. It’s over and done. Today is officially the last day I will be receiving unemployment insurance and this quest on social media I started to being helped to find a job is not longer of use. Or yes it is. But in a different form. I will tell you more about it.

Reality is that  I’ve got nice tips, advice, contacts, a better network, because yes networking works, I said it before. But when it comes to a real solution to my matters, then things are different that what I was expecting. I told you about how difficult it has been to keep my spirit high after having expectations that didn’t work.

So, today on the 13th of may I still don’t have a job, money enough for one more month to pay bills, and still no clue how everything will develop after all.

And you may think, how can I still think about hope. I think that hope is something quite different than luck. Although luck looks like a nice word, it’s more a random idea of getting what you want without doing anything for it. Like winning the lottery or getting presents without waiting for them. But no, I think luck is chance of fortune, and we think it depends on what you believe in, can be religion or superstition, not depending on our own behaviour and the way of thinking.

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