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Georgina Zinno

In Search Of My True Self

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closing chapters

The Final Cut*

 

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I now realize it’s been almost half a year since the last time I wrote here. Nothing wrong about it, of course, I’ve already stated I’m not a blogger anymore, I just keep my label as a writer who writes whenever suits her.. And that’s fine.

Things have been speeding up this last half year. My last entry went about how freedom was something in the mind, something you realize it’s not about hiding your grieve and faking a mask of happiness. This has been really clear to me through all these months lately.

It’s like when you gain new knowledge and information, about yourself, about the world, and then suddenly you discover that everything you thought was real it just isn’t. That emptiness can be really scary.

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Freedom is a state of mind

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My heart has been pounding from one state of mind to another. Wondering along the way which state was better to hold on, I grabbed my own self many times wishing there was only one way to fulfil my hungry heart.
It seems to me that this wondering attracts also lots of instability, doubt and feelings such as failure, disappointment and yes, sadness. Why? Because that’s what happens when you do your best not to feel, when you shut yourself up to the old and decide that all pain you’ve been going through it’s enough. Finito.

Continue reading “Freedom is a state of mind”

Enter the dark side

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I’ve been silent for long. Silent and hidden in my perfect bubble home.
Since 4 weeks ago, after a serious bike accident and a deep injury in my knee, I’m enjoying the art of nothing and resting for good.
It was in the previous weeks to the bike accident that my life was jumping from one foot to the other. Although the feeling inside was kind of fine – always in a hurry, no time to think things over, freak control over kids, house, work and myself. Let’s face it, I’m a control freak. And as such, I tend to overthink and stress for little things, like toys on the floor, dinner ready on time, etc.

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Time is what you make of it – Embrancing change

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Well, it’s been a while. Hello back.

For the last months I’ve had enough fun on Facebook and a social writing life with the Blog Lovin’ Tour of The Declaration of You book. Almost every week during the tour I was writing a post about a topic and enjoying a lot doing it. The last post was about #trust, and that was the same topic I wrote about as a reason to join this Blog Tour. Then it was this deadline on Friday2nd. And I didn’t write anything.

So, at the end of the tour I didn’t make it to write (again) about trust. My idea about it has never changed but I’ve noticed my spirit was already somewhere else.

Deadline was Friday and on the 3rd, Saturday, my birthday. I was supposed to be hosting a bbq party with family at home. But it went different than expected. At the end, I was alone with two good friends that came to enjoy dinner with me and my daughter. I even had a cake with candles! I feel really grateful that they were here this day with me.

Then I realize that obviously this fun time was great but it was also over. Finito.

Continue reading “Time is what you make of it – Embrancing change”

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