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Georgina Zinno

In Search Of My True Self

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Live to tell* (Going nuts in Paris)

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Today is exactly a week ago that I literally came back to life. I was spending last Sunday Easter day my time with a good friend in beautiful city of lights, Paris, France.
It’s been exactly 21 years ago since I’ve been in this lovely city. My friend Octavio was coming to Europe and after deciding it wasn’t possible for us to meet in the Netherlands; we gave up the hope of seeing each other again.
Later on, I had the brilliant idea to fly to Paris and spend this long weekend with him. It was possible, and everything was arranged for us to spend this Easter weekend together. So I flew by plane on Friday afternoon and we met at the airport. It was quite an experience for me, since it was a long month since my bike accident and I wasn’t going out that much due to the injury in my knee.
Anyway, we spend some nice time together until Sunday.

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Enter the dark side

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I’ve been silent for long. Silent and hidden in my perfect bubble home.
Since 4 weeks ago, after a serious bike accident and a deep injury in my knee, I’m enjoying the art of nothing and resting for good.
It was in the previous weeks to the bike accident that my life was jumping from one foot to the other. Although the feeling inside was kind of fine – always in a hurry, no time to think things over, freak control over kids, house, work and myself. Let’s face it, I’m a control freak. And as such, I tend to overthink and stress for little things, like toys on the floor, dinner ready on time, etc.

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Back to basics & (why not?) from bitter to better

3422Well, hello there again, It’s been quite a long time since my last post.

And you may think I lost my creativity somewhere on the way, or my inspiration. But nope, reality is that what I lost was my sight. Yes, as you read it. My glasses broke and I’ve been spending more than two weeks not seeing properly. And not only I couldn’t read nor write, I had times of evil headaches and a strained neck product of trying really hard to read emails on my computer.  Altogether it’s just a bad thing.

Anyway, here I am, alive and kicking. And what can I tell you about the whole experience of feeling nearly blind? It helped me to see (literally) things in a different way.

From what you know up to now about me, I think it’s obviously clear that since I started this quest to be helped to find a job and how every step further developed my path, I’m still facing the same insecurity from the beginning. With the little difference now that being thrown up to another dimension of my same life made me think about my whole search as a sort of magical reason to understand other aspects of my life. Let me explain myself better.

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A new hope

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So, of course the title of this post is the name of the first, and later fourth, George Lucas’ film Star Wars. It’s not such a random title. It says a lot about struggle and how in times when everything seems difficult, there’s still hope.

And that’s how I feel today. The challenge has came to an end. It’s over and done. Today is officially the last day I will be receiving unemployment insurance and this quest on social media I started to being helped to find a job is not longer of use. Or yes it is. But in a different form. I will tell you more about it.

Reality is that  I’ve got nice tips, advice, contacts, a better network, because yes networking works, I said it before. But when it comes to a real solution to my matters, then things are different that what I was expecting. I told you about how difficult it has been to keep my spirit high after having expectations that didn’t work.

So, today on the 13th of may I still don’t have a job, money enough for one more month to pay bills, and still no clue how everything will develop after all.

And you may think, how can I still think about hope. I think that hope is something quite different than luck. Although luck looks like a nice word, it’s more a random idea of getting what you want without doing anything for it. Like winning the lottery or getting presents without waiting for them. But no, I think luck is chance of fortune, and we think it depends on what you believe in, can be religion or superstition, not depending on our own behaviour and the way of thinking.

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