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Georgina Zinno

In Search Of My True Self

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fear

The Final Cut*

 

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I now realize it’s been almost half a year since the last time I wrote here. Nothing wrong about it, of course, I’ve already stated I’m not a blogger anymore, I just keep my label as a writer who writes whenever suits her.. And that’s fine.

Things have been speeding up this last half year. My last entry went about how freedom was something in the mind, something you realize it’s not about hiding your grieve and faking a mask of happiness. This has been really clear to me through all these months lately.

It’s like when you gain new knowledge and information, about yourself, about the world, and then suddenly you discover that everything you thought was real it just isn’t. That emptiness can be really scary.

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Freedom is a state of mind

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My heart has been pounding from one state of mind to another. Wondering along the way which state was better to hold on, I grabbed my own self many times wishing there was only one way to fulfil my hungry heart.
It seems to me that this wondering attracts also lots of instability, doubt and feelings such as failure, disappointment and yes, sadness. Why? Because that’s what happens when you do your best not to feel, when you shut yourself up to the old and decide that all pain you’ve been going through it’s enough. Finito.

Continue reading “Freedom is a state of mind”

Enter the dark side

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I’ve been silent for long. Silent and hidden in my perfect bubble home.
Since 4 weeks ago, after a serious bike accident and a deep injury in my knee, I’m enjoying the art of nothing and resting for good.
It was in the previous weeks to the bike accident that my life was jumping from one foot to the other. Although the feeling inside was kind of fine – always in a hurry, no time to think things over, freak control over kids, house, work and myself. Let’s face it, I’m a control freak. And as such, I tend to overthink and stress for little things, like toys on the floor, dinner ready on time, etc.

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The space between

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Lately I’m in a poor mood for writing. It has been weeks, almost months since I came up with new ideas, new thoughts to pour down into this blog.

As a writer & blogger, the way I like to call myself, I feel the urgency of writing almost 24 hours a day. But lately, life has been unfolding into deep waves of solitude and I’m longing for quietness more and more.

Today the day I decide to write again for you out there, reaching out my hands in an attempt to fulfil my loneliness. Keeping track of what makes me feel alive. Writing. As pure as it is. Writing, because my words can stay hollow in the deepest seas but they’re still here to end my suffering.

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