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Georgina Zinno

In Search Of My True Self

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Vernal Equinox – Spring

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While we enter the new season, something has been cracking inside of me. It’s going to burst out all kind of things; flowers, colours and much different stuff. It comes like the tides, with high and low moments of freedom, insight, revelations, much new information still in process of downloading.

Spring is the time of rebirth. It’s the time when the seeds are ready to bloom. We leave behind the dark and cold days to receive the fullness of life.

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The power within facing my own fears

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For the last – almost – 4 years, I’ve been learning quite a lot about myself and my inner transformation has been taking place, even when I wasn’t consciously aware of it.
The last year and half has been a blessing, but also a huge challenge for me. Although I might look fiercely and strong (I sort of project this image) many times I’m simply weak and depressed by the fact that life is tougher than what I expect.
Fear is the opposite of love, you know. We tend to think that hate is the opposite, but that’s not completely right. And this is because we tend to think always about complementary and opposite ideas. It’s a way to understand the world that we are living in, and specially ourselves.

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The Final Cut*

 

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I now realize it’s been almost half a year since the last time I wrote here. Nothing wrong about it, of course, I’ve already stated I’m not a blogger anymore, I just keep my label as a writer who writes whenever suits her.. And that’s fine.

Things have been speeding up this last half year. My last entry went about how freedom was something in the mind, something you realize it’s not about hiding your grieve and faking a mask of happiness. This has been really clear to me through all these months lately.

It’s like when you gain new knowledge and information, about yourself, about the world, and then suddenly you discover that everything you thought was real it just isn’t. That emptiness can be really scary.

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Freedom is a state of mind

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My heart has been pounding from one state of mind to another. Wondering along the way which state was better to hold on, I grabbed my own self many times wishing there was only one way to fulfil my hungry heart.
It seems to me that this wondering attracts also lots of instability, doubt and feelings such as failure, disappointment and yes, sadness. Why? Because that’s what happens when you do your best not to feel, when you shut yourself up to the old and decide that all pain you’ve been going through it’s enough. Finito.

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Live to tell* (Going nuts in Paris)

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Today is exactly a week ago that I literally came back to life. I was spending last Sunday Easter day my time with a good friend in beautiful city of lights, Paris, France.
It’s been exactly 21 years ago since I’ve been in this lovely city. My friend Octavio was coming to Europe and after deciding it wasn’t possible for us to meet in the Netherlands; we gave up the hope of seeing each other again.
Later on, I had the brilliant idea to fly to Paris and spend this long weekend with him. It was possible, and everything was arranged for us to spend this Easter weekend together. So I flew by plane on Friday afternoon and we met at the airport. It was quite an experience for me, since it was a long month since my bike accident and I wasn’t going out that much due to the injury in my knee.
Anyway, we spend some nice time together until Sunday.

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Enter the dark side

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I’ve been silent for long. Silent and hidden in my perfect bubble home.
Since 4 weeks ago, after a serious bike accident and a deep injury in my knee, I’m enjoying the art of nothing and resting for good.
It was in the previous weeks to the bike accident that my life was jumping from one foot to the other. Although the feeling inside was kind of fine – always in a hurry, no time to think things over, freak control over kids, house, work and myself. Let’s face it, I’m a control freak. And as such, I tend to overthink and stress for little things, like toys on the floor, dinner ready on time, etc.

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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love*

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Finally I can say I’m back here again! After a long time trying to put the domain and site together, now finally I can come back to my writing. It’s been a long time, and not only I sort of decided to climb my own mountain of silence, I just didn’t feel like posting anything anywhere anymore. Sounds like an ultimatum, I know.. And indeed it had to do with my last incursions in the online dating world.
After my first and, up to now, the only date I had, I did give it a try to continue finding that special someone online. It has been quite an experience, I must say.

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In the mood for love*

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It’s been a long way for me to rebirth. Since my last post about Happiness, how to measure it when you’re under lots of stress, personal changes and master the art of balance within emptiness, I’m now feeling free to write again.
Since mid-September up to now I’ve been experiencing major changes in my whole path. Today I feel fulfilment and grace. And this wasn’t easy at all, many obstacles throughout the way, moments I thought I was going to burst into tears and just wanted to leave it all behind. Anyway, life has made me stronger than what I thought I was capable of. And now, not only I feel free to write, I’m also happy to do it.
After a long-term relationship that was already broken for longer than 2 years, I finally took the decision to move forward. To run into the emptiness of not knowing how it was going to be, being a single mom living abroad without family or resources, trusting the process of growing up and accepting life as it comes.
In this sense, I know there’s much still to come, and indeed time can heal all our wounds, but it is up to us how we master resilience when all we want is to step back.

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How to measure #Happiness

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It’s been a month ago I was telling you about the last project I’ve got myself into. The #AugustBreak2014, project from Susannah Conway, started quite good I must say. Until the middle of the month August I felt happy to be participating with my Instagram and Twitter accounts, I even posted some pics on my Facebook profile as well.
Then later, I came back from a short week holidays in Brussels and life here turned out to be much more difficult than what it already was. And to tell the truth, I’ve started to lose feet in it.. Feeling more and more lonely and unsure on how was I going to continue living in this tiresome situation without a clear end in sight?

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