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Georgina Zinno

In Search Of My True Self

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hope

The Final Cut*

 

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I now realize it’s been almost half a year since the last time I wrote here. Nothing wrong about it, of course, I’ve already stated I’m not a blogger anymore, I just keep my label as a writer who writes whenever suits her.. And that’s fine.

Things have been speeding up this last half year. My last entry went about how freedom was something in the mind, something you realize it’s not about hiding your grieve and faking a mask of happiness. This has been really clear to me through all these months lately.

It’s like when you gain new knowledge and information, about yourself, about the world, and then suddenly you discover that everything you thought was real it just isn’t. That emptiness can be really scary.

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Live to tell* (Going nuts in Paris)

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Today is exactly a week ago that I literally came back to life. I was spending last Sunday Easter day my time with a good friend in beautiful city of lights, Paris, France.
It’s been exactly 21 years ago since I’ve been in this lovely city. My friend Octavio was coming to Europe and after deciding it wasn’t possible for us to meet in the Netherlands; we gave up the hope of seeing each other again.
Later on, I had the brilliant idea to fly to Paris and spend this long weekend with him. It was possible, and everything was arranged for us to spend this Easter weekend together. So I flew by plane on Friday afternoon and we met at the airport. It was quite an experience for me, since it was a long month since my bike accident and I wasn’t going out that much due to the injury in my knee.
Anyway, we spend some nice time together until Sunday.

Continue reading “Live to tell* (Going nuts in Paris)”

How to measure #Happiness

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It’s been a month ago I was telling you about the last project I’ve got myself into. The #AugustBreak2014, project from Susannah Conway, started quite good I must say. Until the middle of the month August I felt happy to be participating with my Instagram and Twitter accounts, I even posted some pics on my Facebook profile as well.
Then later, I came back from a short week holidays in Brussels and life here turned out to be much more difficult than what it already was. And to tell the truth, I’ve started to lose feet in it.. Feeling more and more lonely and unsure on how was I going to continue living in this tiresome situation without a clear end in sight?

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Leave and let go

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Recently I’ve been toying with this crazy idea about leaving it all behind. Let myself explain it better.. It’s much easier said than done. When it comes to ‘leave it all behind’ this image of running away from everything what’s harming my life is the first thing it comes to my mind. But when I look around and I see how the world evolves and all the beautiful and important things my world is made of, and then I know it’s not that easy to be done. And, also, I’m not so sure that could bring any relief to the situation itself. There’s had to be another way.

Anyway, I’m stuck between my own thoughts of leaving and letting go. At this present moment everything around me seems like too much to handle. I’m broken, loveless, living in a desperate situation; nothing seems to be good enough. But wait.. There’s much more than that. I have two beautiful kids, great friends, many talents to develop  and for sure much more! It is an internal feeling that nothing lasts forever.

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The art of (dis) connection

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Hello and welcome back to my long forgotten blog. It’s been really a long time since I wrote for the last time in English. And it’s a pity, I know, with so many people who were reading it in the first place, and also many of my friends and acquaintances who can’t read Spanish.. because, of course, I continued writing in Spanish in these last two months.

Reconnecting with you out there

Two months ago I was heading towards Buenos Aires, Argentina, my hometown and country. As many of you have been reading the last months, I was going under much stress at home, not only because of the lack of job, also the personal issues I’ve been trying to master on my own.

So, it was such a relief to have the opportunity to board a plane and go away for some time. It was really useful. And necessary.

But here I am, back to basics. I’ve been already for some time toying with the idea of writing again here for you. Why did I take my time? I sort of promised  to write an article about the whole trip. I even thought to include all the juicy details about how low budget possible that was to be done in such a beautiful city as Buenos Aires.

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A new hope

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So, of course the title of this post is the name of the first, and later fourth, George Lucas’ film Star Wars. It’s not such a random title. It says a lot about struggle and how in times when everything seems difficult, there’s still hope.

And that’s how I feel today. The challenge has came to an end. It’s over and done. Today is officially the last day I will be receiving unemployment insurance and this quest on social media I started to being helped to find a job is not longer of use. Or yes it is. But in a different form. I will tell you more about it.

Reality is that  I’ve got nice tips, advice, contacts, a better network, because yes networking works, I said it before. But when it comes to a real solution to my matters, then things are different that what I was expecting. I told you about how difficult it has been to keep my spirit high after having expectations that didn’t work.

So, today on the 13th of may I still don’t have a job, money enough for one more month to pay bills, and still no clue how everything will develop after all.

And you may think, how can I still think about hope. I think that hope is something quite different than luck. Although luck looks like a nice word, it’s more a random idea of getting what you want without doing anything for it. Like winning the lottery or getting presents without waiting for them. But no, I think luck is chance of fortune, and we think it depends on what you believe in, can be religion or superstition, not depending on our own behaviour and the way of thinking.

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