Welcome back to my challenge! As you see, the challenge is coming to an end. And I’m afraid it didn’t give me the results I was hoping for: finding a job.
So now I still have 10 more days to go. Everything can happen before 13 May, that’s true. But, you know what? I don’t expect much anymore.
The last weeks I was having lots of confidence, feeling lucky and positive. I knew something good was on my way, although I couldn’t place exactly what it was.
I’ve been experimenting lots of different personal issues these last months. I was expecting that this or that other contact was going to bring some new light to my life, that even that was going to change my life for good. But that was not exactly what was happening. I’ve got some bad news, or better be said, not the news I was expecting. That was a big punch because I felt sure that there was a job and some new possibilities coming on my way. So, when I found out that this wasn’t going to be the chance I was waiting for, my world collapsed. I must say I’m still recovering myself from it. It’s been a difficult week. The ideas and plans I’ve had in my head weren’t going the direction I wanted. All of sudden I felt miserable, disappointed, empty and tired. When you feel desperate and you sort of see some light at the end of the tunnel, you become to feel happy, even too much happy I think, so enthusiastic that when I heard the bad news my whole world fell apart.
And that is so horrible. I was having some great days, feeling powerful, even happy. Thinking about my future, how was everything going to be, with the feeling that all was going to get better. So, at some point, I was just illusioned, and frankly when you wake up with a big wake up call back to reality I lost my balance. I’m stil recovering from it. It’s been difficult, quite scary to move forward without a notion of how the future will develop.
At that point I was still feeling in one piece, but little by little all these pieces I was picking up some time back, were falling down and cracking.
Continue reading “The Final Countdown”