Inspiration, Self-development

Building upon who you really are


Hello again there! I’m happy to be back here writing for you. I must say that since I posted all the advice I’ve been given up to now, didn’t expect it to have such great feedback! Thanks for that!

So, I’m back here, nothing has changed much since that day. Although in my own feeling and idea I have changed a lot since then. And this change its translated in different ways.

I’m not here to teach you a lesson, I don’t feel like I have the guts to say I’m that strong and powerful, but yes I feel like somebody who can use more of this good stuff dreams are made of.

Somebody asked me today if I was still looking for a job and if I was just looking for some ‘work of me‘, which means that if I’m looking for a job only about what I’m good at or which I do have much experience in it.

This is a funny question and I will tell you a bit more about it. I replied this particular person that I didn’t have a clue what ‘work of me’ means. Since I’m a writer, as I said before, not every job applies to what I am. However, I believe that every job can give me new resources and more insight on the search to my dream job.

But this insight doesn’t fall from the sky. It’s like a path you don’t know where is going to lead you. So, being a writer doesn’t mean much. It means I’m good at writing and putting words together. It means I’m a creative person. It means I like to communicate. It means I like stories to be told, stories to be true and stories to dream of.

It also means I’m quite open to talk about myself. And that I do listen to other people’s stories. It means also I like to work with texts and computers. It means I take time to digest everyday’s moments into words.

But this doesn’t say much about any especial interest for one job or another. Of course I feel more comfortable in a job where  I can make use of my qualities. That would be one of my dream jobs!

So, back to you and me and this challenge. I was thinking to myself (I think quite a lot, yes!) which way can I show you people who I really am?

And this comes to me in this shape because all this time that I’ve been looking for a job I kept thinking if there was something I was doing right or wrong. It can be that my CV isn’t that attractive, it can also be that I’m not applying for the right jobs, it can also be I’m not doing enough for it.This  seems to me one of the main statements people need to use to ask you back, “Are you really doing your best?”. And this comes also from me, I do think sometimes I’m not doing enough. But what is it enough?

So, then we come to this especial moment in our lives. When almost everything you’ve known until now and you tried doesn’t seem to work properly. Is it me? Is it the times we are living? Is it the world? Is it the bad/good fortune?

Or is it maybe that I’m not picking the right signals out there?

It can be all of these and none of it. Does that really matters?

What I do think matters is the fact that when we are going through a difficult time in our lives, and there’s chaos and change, we need to stay alert to everything what is happening around us.

Being alert is one of the best advices I was given recently. It came from my father. He said really clear: “Be aware of the moment you’re now living, be aware of everything what at this moment is evolving. And don’t act so long you don’t feel 100% sure of what you’re going to do. Be patient, wait for the right moment. You will find your path”.

Now I was listening to him with full attention. This is one of the first times I do listen with all ears. This piece of advice can be taken seriously or not. I decided to take it seriously.

You see, when you are going through difficult times, like me now, it can happen that you loose your balance quite fast.

I must say I’m an impulsive person. Sometimes that can be a great thing, sometimes not. Thinking really good before doing is better when you’re going through times like these. Although it’s pretty normal to do otherwise, running to conclusions and taking what appears to be really easy is a very common mistake.

I learned my lesson well. I’ve done that so much in my life that it doesn’t seem to me weird now to happen to experience this rough times.

When it comes to looking for a job, it’s also really important to know who you are, what are you capable of, what is what makes you satisfied, which are your roots, what do you want to achieve, where are you going to?

I must say that all these questions have been the most difficult ones. I never thought I could give them an answer.

The last 10 years have made a big impression in my life. Not only I’m living in the Netherlands, have two kids, speak Dutch and I’m busy building my own family here; I also discovered a whole new me, new friends, new interests, and that personal stage of life when you’re in your middle life (I’m turning 39 begin of August!) and you tend to look back in your life to discover how and where are you now. I don’t want to be angry or mad about what I’ve done in the past and the reasons why I am now facing this moment of truth.

So, second step is now: how do I build upon the person I really am?

First of all it’s important to know that whoever you might be, that’s who you are. And it isn’t possible to change yourself in somebody you are not. This is important here, cause we are surrounded by people trying to be somebody else: they change their physical appearance, they show themselves as brighter, nicer and better, with more skills that from who they really are. And this is easy to be done with all these social media tools.

I heard sometimes from people who read my blogs who thought I was taller (I’m 1,53 mt long) or too arrogant. Indeed words can be wise or carry misunderstandings.

Nevertheless, whoever I might be for you or for me, I accept myself for who I really am. And that’s much easier said than done. I say it now loud, because I also want to believe I will work on myself from who I really am. This makes things much easier to grasp and to distinguish between what I can really do or not.

So, let me tell you about this: it’s not only knowing who you are or who you might think you would like to be, it’s about accepting the fact that what makes you unique and especial has nothing to do with how people see you. It’s how you see yourself.

And when it comes to applying for a job, we often make the same mistakes. We either lack self-esteem or we have plenty of pride.

None of these help us to move forward.

In my own search I happen to come across somebody who coaches creative people like me who don’t know quite good where are their steps going to or don’t quite know how to follow their own path.

Michelle Ward is a creative coach, most of all she is “the When I Grow Up coach” everybody experiencing a moment like me could use her help to get come through.

A good friend of mine told me about her  and her Facebook page, and that directed me to her own website. After reading and digesting quite a lot of everything she is giving as advice for creative minds such as mine, I’ve decided to send her an email. She replied really fast, and I must say I wasn’t prepaired for that at that moment.

She was kind, attentive and willingly to help me out. At that moment (a month ago) I was experiencing many personal issues at home, couldn’t make up my mind if what she was actually offering me was what I needed at that time. Even with or without her help, I knew I was in the right path, a long and slow one, but a real one. Or better said, my own true path.

And every path is unique. We can compare yours with mine but comparisons aren’t of any good use when we are talking about individuals. What worked for you doesn’t mean it can work for me and viceversa.

So back to you and to my challenge. We are still here, I still want to learn new ways, I want to help you and me to find our passionate way towards our dream jobs! Are you still there? Hang on! I will be coming with much more.. stay tuned!

And never, never, denied who you really are! Even if you have to do work that doesn’t fulfill all your needs, every step takes us forward to who we really are.

Back to you soon!


2 thoughts on “Building upon who you really are

  1. Wow, you are definetly a woman of words! you definetly has a great talent to communicate and that is a true gift! is certainly true we need to be aware what is happening out there for us. Something that has helped me along the way is to think everything happens for a reason and there is situations in life that help us to become stronger and when we look back… we will realize the why.
    Maybe our paths crossed in the right moment!
    All the best and hope to meet you soon!

    1. Dear Rosie, I didn’t answer this message before. And it wasn’t because I forgot or I didn’t want to. I was hoping all the time you were going to be that person who was going to give me more than hope. The fact that our paths were crossed made me think there was something magical in that. And i didn’t want to spoil it. Maybe was better to answer you in the first place and later things maybe would have gone different. At least for me. It was nice to meet you. Success with your business!

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